From the soul-crushing, problem-rich rut of everyday work, you are all of a sudden flown into an amazing 3-day vacation in Italy, fueled by all-you-can-eat pasta, pizza and tiramisu, enriched by wild night-outs, meeting one-of-a-kind people with each moment delivering a new peak of experiential bliss.
Likewise, after an intense argument or deep disconnect with the person you are dating, you are now spending a weekend looking deep into each other’s eyes, feeling their heartbeat as vividly as your own and imagining a future.
In either case, once the peak of emotional intensity wears off, you will be impatiently awaiting the next trip to Italy or the next picture-perfect weekend with your date. But as the disconnect with your partner grows stronger while the weekends together bring you closer, the waiting for the next meetup will get progressively worse until eventually you get hooked on those high peaks.
This is often the consequence of experiencing emotional extremes within the same context: we crave the next high. Every valley makes us feel like the peak is going to get us a high we’ve never experienced before. And so we mindlessly chase it like an addict.
Situationships make a good example, especially if/when we are emotionally invested. Their built-in uncertainty about the future provides a pernicious emotional valley against which we experience the high peaks of togetherness.
Note that none of this implies that whenever we have a low-low and a high-high moment in the same context, we are doomed to become addicts: like drugs, it’s the cyclical exposure to highs and lows that gets us increasingly hooked.
Sometimes, it’s hard to notice when we have become addicted (as the tweet highlights). Yet, there are always signs. Notice when you feel out of your element: particularly weak, confused or uncertain. Notice when you are not living out your values, when you keep thinking about the same thing. Ask your friends too: they might be better equipped to tell you.
Hopefully, then, you identify the source of your addiction. Make sure you figure out why it had the pull it did on you, why it sucked you in. Then, empowered with better knowledge about yourself, go out and replace it. Do NOT just remove it – you will create a vacuum and a new source of emotional extremes might take its place.
Replace that drug with something deep and meaningful. Something that makes your heart sing, your eyes relax and your soul breathe a sigh of fulfilment.
