There is always that door that you never want to use. But if your health, livelihood or freedom are gravely jeopardised in the most extreme circumstances, you will use that door, and you will run away. We all wish to believe that we would stay true to our principles, but under extreme, inhumane pressure, we yield; and so we use that back door, and we surrender our principles.
Marriage is supposed to close that door. Built right into the vows is the promise that whatever the circumstances, we stay together. There is no back door, there is no turning away.
for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part
Oh, and what beauty life holds once that door shuts. To know that your spouse will learn all your limitations and imperfections, and you will learn about them, and they will be there still. This act of extreme vulnerability holds potential for great wisdom and peace. There truly is no limitation on the resilience and strength we can muster once there is no back door.
Marriage, even stripped of its religious connotations, is also meant to provide you with a lifelong partner; someone who complements your energy, enriches your life, someone who becomes the yin to your yang.
But the value of marriage is but a mere ghost of a bygone era. With a 50% divorce rate, death no longer holds power, vows are vacuous and the back door is wide open.
As a society, we’ve traded ‘lifelong’ with the option to back away if circumstances change. While there is indeed value in this new-found choice, it becomes expedient to ignore and forego the wisdom, peace and beauty marriage holds.
